2006/05/03 | she will never know (真实近乎残酷的真实)
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SHE WILL NEVER KNOW <BR />
Just as I am writing this article on the third floor of the library, she pass by. She seems to know everything but also nothing. Her winning smile controls me and I can not figure out what she is thinking about. <BR />
The first thing we did after we entered the university is military training, And we were in different platoons. One day , when my platoon were walking past the field where one of the girl platoons were resting ,I suddenly heard a soft voice "Excuse me , but your hat have fell off." I turned my head aside and saw her-an active and beautiful girl .I hurried to pick my hat up and wore it, forgetting to say thanks to her .That night I could hardly get asleep, what mysterious feelings I have at the first sight of her. I did not know then even now whether this should be called "fall love at first sight or not . But I knew she would leave an indelible impression on me. <BR />
As luck would have it, I knew she was in the same class with me .And I was very happy, maybe because I could see her every day. <BR />
During the next few weeks, I went to class just for the sake of seeing her rather than to study. Though every time she just gave me a smile, I felt the world was more beautiful and peaceful . And I never had a talk with her, but I feel very satisfied and I thought she could understand me. <BR />
One of my roommates is very active and he was the monitor of my class. He often makes fun of me, and sometimes makes me embarrassed. But I think it is a sign that we get along with each other very well. After my telling him something about her, he offered to help me and of course I would not let he do so on the external face but in my internal heart I really did not know what I was thinking. I knew it was not the right time and there was a long way to go between her and me. <BR />
Eventually one day came , when we finished the class , my roommate called me loudly "come here , I will let you know her ." I turned my head back , and he was standing side by side with her . I was so nervous and shy that I ran to the door and fled away. <BR />
In the next few days, I was in the dread of meeting her but I was dying to meet her at the same time. The first time after that I saw her, she was playing on the playground like a flying butterfly. The time she saw me she gave me a smile, but I just stood there silent for what seemed like for ever. Her smile was more shining than the sun and charming than the sunset in the autumn. A dream in my heart began to build up and grew up as the days went by. <BR />
My dream broke into pieces on a rainy night. When I came out of the library, I saw she was standing there without an umbrella on her hands. I had heard lots of romances start under a umbrella and I could not miss the boat. Just as I was thinking how romantic it was and walking towards her slowly, a tall and handsome boy ran to her and they went away together. Left me standing there and I could felt the tears burning in my eyes but I did not know why. I even did not have a talk with her, what should I except of her besides a smile-a winning smile. <BR />
After that, the world was black to me. And I tried to put myself into the world of knowledge – a world without affection and sadness . Every time she sees me now, she also gives me a smile. And I know nothing more is in it. I am a shy man and I have not had a talk with her and I will not. I will put this story deep in my heart. After a long time –30 years or 50 years , when I think about it and her ,I will think it valuable and innocent . Do you think so? <BR />
THIS SHORT STORY IS WRITTEN FOR FUN AND WE SHOULD NOT THINK IT TRUE. AND YOU WILL NOT OF COURSE. <BR />
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